What does it mean to ‘unfriend’ someone?  Are we no longer friends?  Why were we friends in the first place.

The definition is obviously familiar to those who use Facebook, where the phrase originated: “To remove someone as a ‘friend’ on a social networking site such as Facebook,” the authors said. No word if the Twitter equivalent, “unfollow,” was included or referred to.  (http://www.pcmag.com/article2/0,2817,2355963,00.asp)

Kindergarten

We learned everything we needed to know in kindergarten, right? We learned to be polite, be honest, considerate, follow the rules, and especially make friends.  However, there was no lesson plan on “unfriending.”  The word wasn’t even in existence back then.

It’s now a universal term in the social networking community.  Like Google users quickly coined the term “Just Google It,” social marketing people know exactly what it means “to be unfriended.”  If you are using social networking for business purposes, you had better know what this term is, as well as be aware of the causes and repercussions of being “unfriended.”

Who did you unfriend this year?

How many people did you ‘unfriend’ this year?   Was 2009 the year when we are a little more selective in who we invite as a friend on Facebook or other social networks?

Will you please be my friend

Food for Thought

I have two reasons I would unfriend someone:

1. Once we became friends, you harvested ALL of my contacts by spamming them with friend requests.  (Yes it did happen.)
2. You are constantly trying to sell me something through social media rather than building a relationship.  (Yes it still happens.)

I would love to read your comments.  What would make you unfriend someone?

Beware, my Twitter strategy is a little peculiar.

Ditch Business: I started on Twitter simply to learn about it before trying to use it for any business motives. I have been on Twitter actively for a year, and have yet to “do business” using it. That is not to say that I haven’t had great business opportunities and leads find me. I have! BUT-I have not focused on using Twitter for a business purpose and this strategy has served me well. I have healthy Twitter habits now based on “relationships”, not “selling”. I believe this is the correct way to use Twitter anyway.

How has it served me well not to focus on ANY “business goal” using Twitter?

Learn for a Year: I have used the time to learn about Twitter, build relationships, strengthen processes, read, write, and learn some more. The result is that I have a fantastic grasp of how to properly use Twitter, I’m familiar with Twitter applications, I have met some key people, and according to some corporate PR reps, I’m ”a well-established and active online participant”. When I made a comment recently about being “Minnesota Nice” and “a good listener”, another mom blogger pointed out to a dozen other moms to “watch out for her; she’s the most deadly.” This was the best compliment I received in a long while; the absolute power I have in being a good listener.

Become a Trusted Resource: Being a trusted resource for people is very important. After all, the point of social networking is to grow my relationships with people I may want to do business with in the future, ask for advice, and trust with my reputation. I’ve volunteered my time helping people, published guest articles for people, drove targeted traffic on behalf of others, wrote subject matter expert articles for other people who asked me, coached moms bloggers through technical questions and more.

The Result?

Target Market Followers:I have thousands of Twitter followers in my niche target market; tech savvy mothers who embrace small business, love social marketing, and are committed to finding joy in what they do. Of course, this has come at a small price. I don’t allow myself to follow many people outside of my target market. It would be fun to read tweets from the stars or get caught up in political tweets, but I remain focused on building the relationships that count. Not having anything to “sell” has really helped me quickly establish followers and grow relationships that may have been thwarted by a profile with a hint of ulterior motive.

No Missed Opportunities: I can focus my time on getting the right followers and providing humorous, creative, and helpful tweets to those who follow me. I can also focus my time on answering EVERY @reply tweet I get. I sort carefully through my direct messages for any that are personal. I recently was extended an opportunity via DM to interview a Hollywood movie director, and later an actor. I followed up on a DM to see what it was about, and it has resulted in a fun, once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Life experiences make us better at what we do, and I view Twitter as a gateway to great life experiences.

I am not shy to admit that I use and love Twitter. I try to be patient with those who don’t get it yet. I view every hesitant question about Twitter as an opportunity to educate people and help them understand the possibilities coming our way; one tweet at a time!

I made a comment on a blog recently that started a big discussion.  The comment was that “spam is in the eye of the receiver.” Why did this solicit so many comments?

Gone are the days of mass mailing everyone from your Outlook address book. For those of you who want to use email as a marketing technique, you want your email list to be targeted, professional, and polished. You also don’t want to spam people or black list your email server. That’s why using a service like Constant Contact for mass emails (also called email blasts) is recommended.

The most import thing to remember about spam is:  “Spam is in the eye of the receiver.”  It is easy for anyone to mark your email as spam.  If I signed up for your emails a few month ago, but I forgot that I did; your message is spam to me.  I may even report it as spam -  AND reporting a message as spam can be as simple as one click of the mouse.

Here’s the catch with email.

If you do it right, email works to grow your business. If you do it wrong, people think it’s spam, and people hate spam. Hate isn’t one of the buying emotions, is it? So I think it’s safe to say that you don’t want people to hate your communications. In order to steer your business away from negative perceptions and towards positive ones, you need to practice email marketing, not spam marketing.

Email Marketing is:

… delivering professional email communications, to an interested audience, containing information they find valuable.  Let’s examine that definition:

Delivering professional email communications. ‘Professional’ means sending emails that represent the characteristics of your business visually (your brand), while delivering information that educates your audience and/or differentiates your business from the competition.

To an interested audience. An ‘interested’ audience is comprised of people who are familiar with you and your business and have asked to receive your communications.

Containing information they find valuable. If your communications aren’t valuable and appreciated by your audience, no one will want to receive them.

To Spam or Not to Spam – it really isn’t a question

People hate spam.  But they love messages that contain relevant information that they can use.

Are there emails that you get from people you know, like and trust?  Which ones do you read and which ones do you just delete?

As part of their social marketing campaign, Kraft is giving away several years supply of Kraft Mac and Cheese to contest winners who enter on various mom blogs. They are also donating thousands of boxes to Feed America, which is added incentive to bloggers to participate in their giveaway.

This social media campaign is driving tons of traffic to the Kraft site, as well as dozens of mom blogs. As part of the contest entry requirements, people are asked to leave blog comments pertaining to childhood memories and Kraft recipes. Somewhere along the way, Kraft is able to gather valuable information, case studies, testimonials, user recipes, and above all, loyal “raving” fans.

If you follow thousands of mom bloggers on twitter like I do, it doesn’t take long to receive a tweet reminding me to enter for free mac and cheese with the hashtag #bluebox (search bluebox on twitter http://search.twitter.com/search?q=%23bluebox)  or help donate food by visiting Kraft’s site. I did this, and guess what?! I won a year’s supply of Kraft Mac and Cheese which is being shipped by their PR Department now. I have since visited Kraft’s website dozens of times, looking for recipes to use up my prize this next year.

To my delight, there are tons of recipes from lasagna and Mexican casseroles to soups and cold salads that feature mac and cheese. Cool!

Do you have a Twitter story?  Add a comment below to start the conversation….

What About Your Name on Social Websites?

Do you know if your business name, brand name, or personal name is available on the plethora of social media websites?  Many large corporations that are just starting to get involved in social media are hit upside the head with a big surprise.  They have lost their brand name in the top social sites.

On Twitter the name “McDonalds” is not owned by the famous clown – Ronald McDonald (www.twitter.com/McDonalds).  Verizon and Microsoft are also not owned by their brand name owners (www.twitter.com/verizon and www.twitter.com/Microsoft.)  Sprint and Google on the other hand do own their names on Twitter.

Impersonation Policy

Sites like Twitter do have an Impersonation Policy that says you cannot impersonate another person or companies brand.  That may not make it clear that someone other than you is representing your brand.  I could use the Microsoft name as my username to disparage the brand, as long as I disclosed that I am not Microsoft.  If you suspect someone is impersonating you or your company, here are a few places you can go:

• Twitter Impersonation Policy:  http://help.twitter.com/forums/26257/entries/18366
• FaceBook Policy:  http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/terms.php?ref=pf
• LinkedIn User Agreement:  http://www.linkedin.com/static?key=user_agreement&trk=hb_ft_userag

Most social media sites will respond to your inquires quickly; but you need to take action.

Should You Secure Your Brand In the Major Social Networks?

I think so.  But that can be time consuming.  So lets make it easy.  KnowEm (http://knowem.com/) checks the availability of your brand name, user name or vanity URL on 120 popular Social Media websites. It is simple and will tell you if your brand is being used by someone else.  Give it a try.

Got a comment?  Let me hear them.  I do respond to ALL comments.

I really believe in taking small steps.  Making small changes daily to improve your business and your life.  Sometimes these changes are outside of your comfort zone.  I know some of the things we have talked about over the last couple weeks have taking you outside your comfort zone.  To continue doing the same thing over and over again is just insanity.  Sometimes we need a kick in the pants and to take a giant leap into the unknown.  Have you ever done that?  Take a giant leap of faith?  Stephen Covey says that to make incremental changes in our business, focus on behaviors.  If you want to make life changes; course altering changes, focus on paradigms. 

Do you know what a paradigm is?

Let me tell you another story to illustrate what a paradigm shift really looks like. Author Stephen Covey has a wonderful book called “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People”. He tells a great story that really gets you on a gut level of what a paradigm shift is. Covey tells this story of a battleship coming back from maneuvers….

It was a dark and stormy night and it was rough going.   The captain of the battleship stayed up on the bridge.   To give you a sense of the size of a battleship: if were to take a fourty story building and lay it on its side that’s a battleship. It’s tremendously complex, huge, with thousands of people running all over it.  This is what this captain is in charge of.  

All of a sudden, the signal man says to the captain: “Captain, there’s a light off the starboard bow.” The captain has only one question that’s important, “Is she steady or moving astern?”  Moving astern is not a problem, two ships passing in the night. Steady is a whole lot worse than that. It means they are on a collision course.

The signal man says: “Captain, it’s steady.”   Captain says, “Signal this: We are on a collision course. I suggest you change course twenty degrees.” The signal comes back, “Suggest YOU change course twenty degrees.”

Well, you just don’t talk like that to captains of battleships.

The captain barks back, “Send this: I am a captain. Change course twenty degrees!” The signal returns: “I am a sea man second class. YOU change course twenty degrees!”   It’s getting warm up on the bridge all of a sudden.

“Signal this,” shouts the captain, “I am a battleship. Change course twenty degrees.” Signal comes back, “I am a lighthouse.”

That is a paradigm shift. 

Do you need to make a shift in your business?  

Are there signals you are missing that are warnings or calls toward opportunities?   On the surface social media tools are just tools.   They should be implemented to achieve a specific goal.  But on a micro level, social media is about engaging in conversations; creating compelling word of mouth marketing.  We all word of mouth is powerful.  But are you investing in it?

I recently did a presentation with a networking group.  I started the conversation by asking, “What is working for you in marketing right now?”  After they told me all of the things that were not working, they all shared one common thing that was working for them – word of mouth.  People come to our store, or purchase our services, because of a recommendation from someone else. 

Social media is about harnessing the power of word of mouth.  When people talk about you, it is no longer about your marketing.  In the end, the message you try to put out there will not succeed.  The only message that matters is what your customers, potential customers, and others say about you.  That is the paradigm shift.

Lets make a shift today

ONE ACTION ITEM:  Take a few minutes to re-connect with someone this week.  A business partner, client, or another business owner that you respect.  Take them out for coffeeor for lunch at your favorite cafe.  Ask them what is working for them in thier marketing and if they are using any social media tools.  You might be surprised what you hear.